Thursday, November 17, 2005

in the name of justice and everything

i found myself in an interesting situation this morning. i arrived to work late, after a phone call from my mother held me up a bit, and sitting on my desk was a black shoulder bag with a note attached saying " divinemissk find out whose bag this is and return it." at first i was a little miffed, like, how the hell am i supposed to find out who this belongs too? but that's kindof how i feel when someone asks me to do something "why do i have to do it?" i'm a little whiny, what can i say?

when i got around to going through the bag, i realized that i got to do one of my favorite things, play detective. when i was a kid and i was told to ' go clean your room ' i would do so in a way that i would go through everything as if i were a stranger, say, a police detective looking for clues as to who the person who lived in this room was. ' hmmmm, assorted colored pencils and gold glitter, this girl obviously has a penchant for the arts and loves a little color in her life. ' its funny, i would have used a word in my head like penchant , but really had no idea what the definition was, and don't think i really know what it means nowadays...

anywho- i'd clean up my room and go through each item that i owned one by one and make up little stories about myself and what other people would think about me, judging by what i owned and how i kept my stuff. i liked to consider myself an anthropologist of sorts, although when i was ten years old, i probably didn't know what anthropology was. maybe i was just a romantic?

so, this morning i set about the task of playing detective. i imagined myself a character on 'law and order' looking for clues as to how to find this person and rightfully return their property (ensuring liberty and justice for us all). the first thing i pulled out of the bag was a date book. 'oh, this is going to be too easy.' i thought. but oh-ho-hooo, i turned to the personal information page and found it to be blank. a little more digging was necessary. there were several magazines in the bag and i pulled the first one out. allure , hmmmmm, probably a woman's bag (it was a non descript tote-like thing, a free giveaway from someone's company, so it could have belonged to either sex). the magazine gave off a strong smell of perfume, but there was no address stamp on the front. the next two magazines were the week and did have an address on the front, but they were to a man's office, an attorney who operated on 6th avenue. curious, i didn't think this bag belonged to this man, because although i would think it to be normal to find a few 'men's' magazine's in a woman's bag, i didn't think i would find a perfumey woman's magazine in a man's bag. and i knew that a gay man would carry a better bag! so, i began imagining scenarios like, this woman is getting a divorce and swiped a few magazines from her attorney's waiting room. or she's having an affair with this attorney, and is best friends with his wife and took a few magazines from his office, which she will casually leave around her apartment the next time her friend comes over because she's really a vindictive bitch at heart. you know, things along that line....

so, still thinking that this bag belonged to a woman, i turned back to the address book. i realized now that i would have to go through it a little further, in order to find a name or something. i was a little uncomfortable going through it because, really, i didn't want to find out anything that i didn't want to know about, and the thought of a stranger going through things gives me the shivers (its fine to imagine people going through my things, but in real life, i wouldn't want it to happen). so i turned the pages of the calendar- noticing entries for each day, all in black pen, in a barely legible handwriting. notes to self like ' call dee to confirm ', and ' check with florist .' appointments for the dentist, and reminders of the bergdorf's trunk sale. there were business cards stuffed in pockets haphazardly, magazine clippings; one was on a new knitting kit sold on lafayette street that apparently julia roberts just loves. another was for a sale at ann taylor loft, and another was a recipe for key lime pie. mmmmmmmm, pie! i was hoping to find a receipt or something with a name on it and eventually i did, and the last name was the same as the last name on the magazines, so i figured it was the wife of the lawyer. i then found a print out of an email, with an email address. so i figured i could just email the woman and tell her i had her bag. but that would be too easy! what if she didn't check her email everyday? no, i would have to keep looking. in the name of justice and everything.

i flipped to the front of the address book, and went through the pockets there. a few business cards for kitchen remodeling places (oooooh we had something in common!), some paint chips (pale pink and coral pink- the coral was a little too orange-y for my taste), an old candy wrapper, and then bingo! a blank check . with the name of the lawyer, the name of his wife and their address on east 84th street. i was a little disappointed i didn't have to do any more detective work, but satisfied that the bag would find it's owner again.

i went to and typed in their name and address and found both his work number and their home number. i called and left a message at their home, " ummm hi, my name is divinemissk, and i work at so and so and i found your bag on my desk this morning, i think my boss left it there, so, yeah, anyway, i have it here and this is my phone number and the address where you can come pick it up. i'll have it locked up by my desk, so you can stop by anytime ."

i hung up with the satisfaction of a job well done. but i knew my job wasn't over, what if she works all day and doesn't get the message until later this evening? would justice truly prevail? or would i just have to call the husband at work and let him know that his wife's bag was safe in my hands?

, i would have to call him at work. i didn't want to bother him exactly, so i decided to leave a message with his assistant or whoever answered the phone. i went through the same schpiel, and as i was hanging up, i realized that by the man's reaction on the other line, it was probably the husband himself and not some young, hot, paralegal, who was working his way through law school at night, while toiling away at the mister's office during the day.

i received a phone call a few minutes ago and it was the wife, asking for divinemissk and then calling me her hero. "well, it wasn't really me , it was my boss really, i just did the detective work."

Friday, November 11, 2005

the engagment story- and then i promise not to be one of those girls who is obsessed with being engaged...

kpr's parents had a 50th wedding anniversary party at a country club last saturday. 11/5/05 is their actual anniversary and they invited everyone they know to celebrate with them. they even invited my parents from ohio and my great aunt from new jersey. it was a lovely event, i wore a purple and black dress that i picked up at angelo lanbrou in the east village, crocheted black tights and black stilettos. it was an afternoon affair, so i wasn't sure if i was overdressed, but kpr's mom was wearing a black cocktail 'number' so i thought that i wouldn't stand out too much. i decided on a faux diamond pendant on a silver chain (something that kpr's mom had given me a while back) and matching earrings that my grandmother gave me that same year. i'm describing what i'm wearing because kpr helped me pick it all out the night before. whenever i get dressed up for something- i always show him what i am considering and like to hear his opinion (for the most part). and its not some fucked up gloria/emilio estefan thing- he doesn't decide what i wear and lay it out on the bed for me- we just don't have a full length mirror, so i need an outside eye. anyway- little did i know the night before that kpr was helping me choose the outfit that i would become engaged in.

and let me explain- i don't want to be one of those girls who becomes obsessed with all things wedding and being engaged. it is important for me to well.... just not obsess- and have that be the only thing i can talk about. i never really thought that kpr and i would ever get married- we've been together five years and i thought we'd end up being one of those couples who just lived together, raised some kids and some dogs, kept a household, but never made it legal. and i was ok with that. i don't need to be married to express my love for him. not that i don't respect marriage- my parents and kpr's parents have been excellent examples of how marriage does work out and it can be a beautiful thing and everything. i just never needed to be married.

but now that we are engaged, i am excited, i have so much to look forward to and i'm happy to be spending the rest of my life with kpr. i think he is the bee's knees.

so we went to this party and his whole family was there. brother, sister-in-law, nephews, aunts, uncles, cousins- you get it right? everyone.

they had a cocktail hour where everyone mingled and i was introduced to a lot of older people whose names i am supposed to know but of course i don't, a lot of cousins far removed who talked about kpr when he was little, oh and i happened to reintroduce white wine that day (i'm on an elimination diet) so i was a little buzzed and happy to see my parents and introduce them to all these people i am supposed to know.

kpr's brother comes up to him at one point and hands him a gift-wrapped box and says that this is the gift they are giving mom and dad. kpr hands it off to me and asks me to bring it up to him while he is giving a speech about his parents, right before the toast. i think nothing of it and set the box at my chair and go back to the white wine, er, mingling.

the time comes and everyone sits down and kpr gets up to make his speech. he has been working on it since the night before and i know he is nervous- he starts out with a few jokes and gets people in the spirit. his parents are standing next to him on the dance floor and he's nervously glancing down at his paper as he speaks and addresses the room. it is all very sweet and he's saying such nice things about his folks and their being married for 50 years and how they still love each other and can stand to be in the same room with each other and how they love to travel together and how they've seen more than their share of bad times and a lifetime of good times too. it is very lovely and everyone is smiling and laughing, calling out funny comments and having a good time. he calls me up to hand the gift off to his parents, only he wants me to open it.

it's a small box wrapped in silver and white paper with a silver bow. i take off the bow, rip off the paper and find that the box is from saks 5th avenue. the whole time i am trying to figure out what he and his brother got his parents and how it could fit into such a small box. i open up the saks box and find an even smaller wooden box inside. it looks like a jewelry box, and i'm thinking "What the heck is this?!" and i try to hand the jewelry box off to ken's mom, but he tells me to open it for them (they have drinks in their hand). right before i opened the box, he says, "what can you possibly do for a couple that has been married for fifty years- what kind of gift can you give them?" and as i open the box he says "the gift of starting a marriage of your own" and BOOM! i'm blinded by the light of this dazzling ring that just leaps out at me as i flip open the lid. i froze, i was completely and totally shocked and awed. the whole room was silent for a moment and then PANDAMONIUM! everyone jumps out of their seats and gasps and i even hear someone scream a little bit (probably my mother). i put my hand to my forehead and i start to cry, and i can't look at anyone but kpr. he keeps talking and says that he asked my dad for my hand 20 minutes ago and that he said "Ok!" and that now he is going to get down on one knee and ask me to marry him, which he does. by this point he is crying a little himself and you can just hear everyone in the room sniffling and blowing their noses. my dad gets up on joins me on the dance floor and i give him a big hug and turn back to kpr who is still on one knee and he proposes (honestly i can't remember exactly what he said because of the roaring in my ears from the shock of it all, but it went something like, beautiful person i've ever met, promise to love and take care of you, will you marry me...) my dad told me i should ask him to repeat the question but at that point i'm crying so hard and trying to grab kpr's hand and trying to tell him that he doesn't have to get down on one knee and trying to say "yes" and trying to hear over the roar of the crowd- i don't even know if i ever did say yes- i just hugged him and we cried together and then kpr's mom came up to me with tears running down her face and hugged me and said she was so happy and kpr's dad hugged me and said the same thing and this began the parade of hugs where i hugged every member of his family who were all red faced from the crying and everyone was so emotional and happy and shocked and it was all so amazingly beautiful and my MOTHER i just remember her running up to me with her arms outstretched and i knew she was so happy and i was just crying and crying and it was awesome but exhausting. the dj was playing "all you need is love" in the background which i later learned that kpr had asked him to do and it is truly a moment i will never forget and a moment i wish i could go back to physically, not just in my head, because it was a point in time where i felt like i was truly in the moment, and everything that i was feeling was so immediate and necessary and it is so rare to experience something like that- it truly only comes with feelings of extreme happiness or extreme sorrow and i'm so thankful to have been able to experience something like it

Tuesday, November 08, 2005


we're getting a new dog. her name is bonnie- she's a boston terrier and is supercute. she's going to be champ's little sister and we can't wait to bring her home after thanksgiving. pictures to come.

kpr was promoted at work! hooray! i'm so proud and happy for him.

the kitchen renovation is moving ahead- waiting for the final renderings to be sent and then the cabinets will be made. what are we going to have on the floor you might ask, since that is what comes first- hmmm... don't know about that one yet...

oh and

we're engaged! to be married! oh my god!

Friday, November 04, 2005


one roundtrip ticket to salvador, brazil- february- C-A-R-N-I-V-A-L!