Monday, January 31, 2005

crap soup

there is a hale and hearty soup shop in my building where i work. they hand out those little cards where you buy 10 soups get one soup free. i've been diligently visiting this soup shop throughout the winter, slowly but surely building up my soup count. last week, i finally reached my goal! ten soups! holy crap! that's awesome! i get free soup! free soup!! woohoo! i save up to six bucks! rock on! they just did a report on cbs news about soup places in new york with health code violations! my soup place was a featured unsanitary establishement! i've been eating crap soup for the last three months! it's a wonder i'm still alive!

somebody hold me.

Friday, January 28, 2005

i could bite through my bottom lip right now and not even feel it!

i went to the dentist this morning for a regular cleaning and check-up and walked out two hours later, unable to feel the left side of my face. the drool that was running down my cheek immediately froze, because, holy shit! it's fucking cold outside today!

i had one cavity and "what looks like the beginning of another cavity, so make sure you're brushing at a diagonal towards the back of your mouth, ok?" jeeze louise, i've had these teeth for twenty-something years, you think i know how to brush by now.

so the dentist shot me up with some novocaine and goddamn it hurt! i made an embarrassing moan/slash owwwwwwww! sound, because it fucking hurt and the dentist was all like "are you ok?! oh, maybe i should have warmed up the anesthetic because it's really cold." yeah, say that after you shot me up.

so the drilling was pleasant. really it was, after i got over my nausea of seeing and having pieces of my tooth spray all over my face, thank god i couldn't feel anything though. i began to feel a little paranoid after a while because the dentist and her technician were gossiping in mandarin and i couldn't help like feeling like they were talking about me and my stanky breath or something. i have the same problem when i go to get my nails done, although, then i know they're talking about me in mandarin because usually one lady will be brave enough to ask me in english, "why do you keep your nails so short deary?" for the record, my nails refuse to grow at all, but apparently, my teeth love to grow cavities.

i chose to have the white filling because i have enough metal fillings and seriously, i don't believe it's a good idea to have a mouth full of metal. i'd love to one day have the bucks to switch all my metal fillings, anyone got about 10 grand they can spare?

after it was all over, and i was signing my name to the receipt, i was chewing on my lip and realized, hey, i can really chew on my lip! and not even feel it or anything. ohhh that's sooo gross, its like my mouth is stuffed with cotton and lined with gummy worms. and then this strange part of me, deep, deep inside, wanted to just bite through my whole lip, just tear it off completely and see what happened. but then i realized that although i couldn't feel it right now, i would certainly feel it later and i don't think facial disfigurement is good in my line of work...

have a great weekend and stay warm! and if you live somewhere that is warm already? seriously, fuck you. :)

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

just poop already!

we had tons and tons of snow here in nyc this past weekend, as did most of the northeast. kpr and i had a fun weekend, stayed inside all bundled up on saturday, watched senseless movies and episodes of animal precinct on the animal planet. champ is being a big bitch about all this snow and won't go in the backyard anymore, so we have to walk him around and around the neighborhood till he takes his poop. i know we're spoiled because we have a backyard and don't have to deal with this every day, but why can't he learn the sooner he goes, the sooner we get to come in out of the cold? mariana doesn't have to walk her dog but two steps out the front door and he does his business and turns his butt around right back into the building. maybe in time champ will become this wise.

kpr and i had planned a big trip out to trader joes in new jersey on saturday. my mom sent us some gift certificates for the purpose of purchasing very cheap wine. needless to say we didn't make it on saturday because of the blizzard. i've been collecting lists of things people have been telling me to get from trader joes, as i've never been there myself. if you have any suggestions as to what to buy, please share in the comments.

tonight mariana and i are going to see sideways, in honor of the oscar nominations. i'd like to see all the best film nominations and hotel rwanda, before the event, but we'll see if i have the time and money.

hmmmm- this entry is a little blah... oh well.

Friday, January 21, 2005

and now back to our regularly scheduled bullshit

i never do these, but
meme, stolen from robin

What color is most reflective of you? purple. i would do every room in my house in shades of purple if kpr would let me.

How did you get the idea for your journal name? from the film i heart huckabees.

What time were you born? 2:30 in the morning, six weeks early, yo. i find this hugely ironic because the thought of either, a) staying awake till 2:30am, or b) waking up at 2:30am, terrifies me. if i have anything to do with it, i will never see 2:30 in the morning again. also, i'm never, ever early to anything, ever.

What song are you playing now, or wish you were playing? in my head, one of the new u2 songs that i don’t know the name of.

Has the death of a celebrity ever made you cry? Yes, katherine hepburn. i so admire her life and her work. i was really upset when she died.

What color underwear are you wearing? black thong, baby!

Do you want a baby? yes, several

What does your dad do for a living? lives the american dream.

What does your mom do for a living? lives the american dream with my dad and does really important hospice work.

What is your pet's name? champ champtoferson, or any of the following: booger, boog, buddy, tooter, champy, champy champ, champalicious,
booger snot, no!, go pee go pee go pee, go poo go poo GO POO! good boy!

What color are your bedsheets? cream. my bedsheets are the number one reason i am late to work in the morning. they are awesome! so soft and cozy and ohhhhh i want to go to bed right now!

What are the last 3 digits of your phone number? let's just say there's a 384 in there somewhere

What was the last concert you attended? the original divine one. the divine miss m, bette midler.

Who was with you? mariana and it was at radio city music hall, which is such a national treasure.

What was the last movie you saw? finding neverland. it was ok, i felt kindof removed from the whole thing. maybe that's because we were sitting IN THE FIRST ROW!!

Who do you dislike most at this moment? ummm, i can't really think of anyone, but give me a minute.

What food are you craving right now?< anything with dairy, wheat, alcohol or sugar. i'm on an elimination diet for a month. pizza!! wine!! pizza with wine!!

Did you dream last night? i'm not sure, probably

What was the last tv show you watched? wife swap

What is your fave piece of jewelry? i used to have a bunch of green beaded bracelets on my left wrist. i bought them at a street market in Bamako, Mali four and a half years ago and never took them off until they fell off one by one. the last one broke about a month ago and i cried and cried. they were something constant, that had been with me through the last four and a half years. it is sad to look down at my bare wrist now.

What is to the left of you? a water bottle.

What was the last thing you ate? chana masala and basmati rice.

Who is your best friend of the opposite sex? kpr, of course.

Write a song lyric that's in your head

...and i could never take a chance
of losing love to find romance
the mysterious distance
between a man aaaaannnnd a woman

you'll seeeeeee

it's that u2 song i don't know the name of, or many of the lyrics for that matter. it's slowly driving me insane

Who last imed you? kpr

Where is your signifigant other right now? at home with champ. how i wish i were there too

Do you have a crush? yes, on kpr of course! (oh gross, i know)

What is his name? i just told you, and if you weren't paying attention, i'm not gonna tell you again

What shampoo do you use? i don't shampoo my hair. i only use conditioner. i have really dry, naturally curly hair, so shampoo is a no no.

When was the last time you cut your hair? the week after labor day. that reminds me, i have to make my appointment to see dennis soon.

Are you on any meds? sigh. yes.

Do you have a mental disease? no, and even if i did it's none of your damn business.

What shirt are you wearing? it's kindof cranberry colored, 3/4 sleeved, embroidered around the neckline. one of my favs

What time is it? 2:38pm is it time to go home yet?!

What color is your razor? pink

What is your fave frozen treat? cutie sandwichs- made from soy milk and so delicious!

Are you sexy? hell yeah

Whats your favorite shopping store? whole foods

Are you thirsty? yes

Can you imagine yourself ever getting married? sure

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

i'm thinking...

of planning a trip to brazil this spring. ok, i'm more than just thinking, i'm in the preliminary planning stages, and would be even further along if people would freaking call me back. the travel agent, cross cultural solutions, neither of them have called me back yet. so i'm about an hour away from calling them again. the guy at the travel agency wasn't too enthusiastic about getting me an estimate for a round trip ticket to salvador in march or april. i know i was vague, but please how hard can it be? just put some numbers in your computer and call me back for god's sake!! i'm only going through this agency because they got me a great deal when i went to china last spring. oh yeah, i went to china last spring, i don't think i've mentioned that yet. and yes, i did climb the great wall of china, one of the biggest achievments of my life. i have weblog on the whole thing, out there on the internet, but i'm not going to link to it here, because, dude, i use my real name and stuff.

oh and i'm also thinking of teaching in switzerland for a year. switzerland. alps. ski resort. oh, and technically, i've never taught my own class, either. but still, this intrigues me. this is another thing that i'm not really just thinking about, but more like working on my resume this weekend, emailing it to the headmaster and planning a trip to boston to a job fair to meet the guy.

oh the thoughts that will go through one's head and what happens when you just fish one of them out and are like, "hey, why don't i DO this one?!"

Monday, January 17, 2005

poor champ!

who fell in the half frozen pond this morning? poor champ, had a little scare, thought the pond was completely solid and it wasn't. thank goodness kpr was out there with him! champ was able to pull himself out and kpr carried him inside yelling for me to get some towels. i wrapped him up and brought him upstairs, thankfully we had a fire going already and i sat with him by the fire while he shivered and shivered and kept massaging his little body all over trying to dry him off and warm him up. i put his pillow next to the fire and put his little fleece shirt on and wrapped him up in a dry towel and he is now napping peacefully, with only a little eye and ear sticking out from under the towel.
i certainly hoped he learned his lesson!

poor champ!

who fell in the half frozen pond this morning? poor champ, had a little scare, thought the pond was completely solid and it wasn't. thank goodness kpr was out there with him! champ was able to pull himself out and kpr carried him inside yelling for me to get some towels. i wrapped him up and brought him upstairs, thankfully we had a fire going already and i sat with him by the fire while he shivered and shivered and kept massaging his little body all over trying to dry him off and warm him up. i put his pillow next to the fire and put his little fleece shirt on and wrapped him up in a dry towel and he is now napping peacefully, with only a little eye and ear sticking out from under the towel.
i certainly hoped he learned his lesson!

Friday, January 14, 2005

it's friday!!

and i get to leave work early! every day before the holiday, the office closes early and monday is mlk day and we have off so wooohoooooooo!

it's raining AGAIN today, so i won't feel guilty if i just go home, snuggle on the couch with champ, settle in for some oprah and munch on some veggie booty.

oh lordy, i'm so glad it's friday!

have a great weekend folks.

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

me and edie

so, i have a stalker. not a cyber stalker, but a real-life stalker. i run into her all the time and when i try to catch her eye, she always looks away, trying to blend in and not be noticed. i'm not afraid of her, but frankly, it's getting a little annoying to have her there every time i turn around. i even know her name, so it's not like she's one of those anonymous stalkers, i know who she is and what she does for a living. her name is edie f@lco and she works on this little show on hbo called the sopr@nos. she's been in my living room every day for the last two and a half weeks and yesterday she followed me to the theatre.

ok, ok, edie f@lco is not stalking me, but, i do see her everywhere. ok, ok, not everywhere, but twice in the last two years and kpr saw her once last year. so that makes three encounters with edie f@lco for my household, and that, my friends, is way above average.

the first time i saw her, was at an off broadway theatre that i had been working for off and on. the show was starring cynthia nixon and evan handler of sex and the city, so a lot of celebs trudged all the way to 52nd st between 10th and 11th avenues (way, way, way out there, remember what i said about cross-town blocks?) to see the show (who am i kidding? they all took cabs). i worked concessions one night and after the show, a woman wearing a black baseball cap and no makeup came up to me and asked where she should wait to see the actors and i was all like, are they expecting you? and she was like, yes. and then i realized, ohmygod! this is edie f@lco. cool (at that point i had never watched the sopr@nos, so i was just a little in awe). i was determined not to let it show that i knew who she was, but then i was like, well, ummm, yeah, you can just go right backstage through that door, ummmm ok? and when she left, i was a little giddy, but still under control.

kpr saw her a while back when they were both getting an mri. he was the patient after her and all the mri techs could talk about was her (and they discussed what was going on with her health-wise, which i would think is a big no no).

last night i ushered a production at new york theatre workshop, theeee off broadway theatre. rent was work shopped here and although they have a long history of excellent work, rent is what put them on the map. i'm ashamed to say that i had never seen a show there, even though it's within walking distance of my house. a friend had volunteered to usher and then had to drop out, so i replaced her. the theatre space itself is really inspiring. the audience setup was new, a very tall, steep set of risers curved around a small, intimate stage, with beautiful hardwood floors and the bare brick back wall serving as the back wall of the set. a gorgeous, bachelor style, brown leather couch and a simple floor lamp were the only set pieces. the show was called a number by carol churchill (a famous playwright) and starred sam shepard and d@llas roberts (i'll get to him later) and had recently been extended due to sold out houses.

so, as an usher, my job was to tear the tickets at the entrance of the house and guide people as to where they were going, all while telling them to use the coat check and turn off all cell phones and beepers, etc... so i was busily tearing and telling away, when in walks this bubbly brunette with a not so bubbly short-haired blond, no makeup. i tore their tickets and was about to tell them where to go when i realized the blond was indeed, edie f@lco! my mind began to race! i had been watching every episode of the sopr@nos for the last two and a half weeks now, and i was just blown away by her work on the show. now, usually when i see a celebrity in ny, i play it cool, am impressed, but i certainly don't say anything to them, let alone ask for an autograph or anything. just last week mariana and i saw kyra sedgwick in urban outfitters and while everyone around us was abuzz, she and i played it cool. but this time, i felt different. i felt like i had to let her know that i had been watching her show every day for the last two weeks and that i loved her character and thought she was doing an amazing job and i that i was just inspired by her talent and the work that she was doing. all of this was running through my head in the two seconds i had before they walked away, but before i could say anything, they stopped and the bubbly brunette grabbed the arm of a tall young man about to enter the theatre and said, "john this is my friend edie f@lco" and i looked up and realized that "john" was an actor that had worked at a theatre i had interned at almost five years ago and i had had a huge huge crush on him at the time. my mind froze, and my mouth felt like it had been stuffed full of cotton balls. edie and the exuberant brunette walked away after i had vaguely pointed them in the right direction (wildly gesturing towards the front of the theatre) and there i was standing face to face with a guy that i had swooned over five years ago (but honestly hadn't thought of since).

my mouth, still stuffed with cotton, refused to make any sounds and i finally stuttered out something like "u-u-uuup thethe the sssstairss" and prayed they (he was with a blond girl, woman, lady or whatever) would just walk on by. but of course, because i was sounding like an idiot, (i never stutter, and when i do i get flustered and sound even worse) he paused and looked at me and i saw a flash of recognition and then confusion and i knew he thought i looked familiar, but i just smiled weakly and offered no simultaneous recognition. the young blond pulled him away and i breathed a sigh of relief, until i realized that my friend sara, had dated his roommate after that summer internship. John, mr. roberts (the star of the show) and sara's boyfriend all went to this very famous performing arts school that starts with a j (and it's not jyale) and have all had great success in their careers. sara had told me later that she had told john that i had had a huge, huge crush on him (after the internship was over and she thought i would never see him again, little did she realize how small the theatre world is) and although, if i remember correctly, she said he had responded not with complete horror and revulsion, but i think slight amusement or something, i don't know, it was five years ago after all. but anyway, after he walked away, i panicked because if he remembered who i was, he was bound to remember what sara had told him! and because i had acted like an idiot and couldn't speak or anything, i hoped that if he did remember, he wouldn't think that i was so flustered because i was still swooning over him, which i wasn't, it was just the edie factor that had me all mixed up. if i had seen just him, i would have been my normal, charming self and laughed with him over everything that went on that summer. hahaha!

ok, enough of this junior high, do you think he likes me, talk.
the show was good and ran about 60 minutes. the house was sold out, so all of the lovely volunteer ushers had to stand in the back of the audience, which sucked, but gave me ample opportunity to glance over at edie (who had the best seat in the house) and former crush boy.

after the show, i worked the coat check and was madly handing coats back to people, so i didn't get to see crush boy leave. when we were finished, and the audience had cleared out, a bunch of us were standing around and talking about who was there and everything and of course everyone was talking about edie. she had just starred in a production of 'nigh mother by marsha norman (another famous playwright) on broadway and it turns out that the woman who was with her, the bubbly brunette, was indeed marsha norman herself. exciting! we were all giggling and a little giddy about this and who should walk from behind the risers but, edie and marsha! they had obviously overheard us, but were very gracious and friendly and all nice to meet you and everything. we cleaned up the space and walked out of the theatre. it was raining, but i decided to walk home anyway and call mariana and tell her all about what had happened (she had interned with me that same summer). when i got home, what did we do but pop in another episode of the sopr@nos and sit back and watch edie and all the gang do their thing.

Monday, January 10, 2005


happy birthday champ! today you are two years old! i'm sorry i gave you some banana yesterday that made you have the runs today. i hope you feel better tomorrow! champ we love you so much and can't remember what life was like before you. do you mind if i share a little of your story with the internet? no? ok, thanks buddy.

We rescued Champ through The Northeast Boston Terrier Rescue last March.
You can view a picture of him here.

He loves: Snuggling under the blanket with mom or dad
Playing chase with other dogs at the dogpark.
Naps, naps and more naps
Having his tummy rubbed
Pugs and Frenchies

He hates: The rain
Having to wipe his paws at the door
Not being able to eat everything off the sidewalk
Squirrels (its a love/hate thing really)

Champ was abused in his original home, his jaw was broken and never
set, so it healed crooked and therefore his tongue hangs out the side
of his mouth, but it certainly adds to his personality! Despite his
rough start, Champ holds no ill-will towards humans and gets along
well with adults and kids. He does have that alpha male aggression
and can be hostile to other dogs while on the leash. This is
something we are dealing with and have high hopes of overcoming,
especially because we would love to have two Bostons one day and/or
possibly foster rescues. The perfect companion for
Champ would be a smaller girl who loves to play play play and chase
chase chase and doesn't mind having her ears nibbled on.

happy birthday Champ!
ok, now let's go for a walk.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

......twiddling thumbs.......

*cricket chirp*



hello? is anyone there?

i'm just waiting for my callback from you guys. come on newjrep. gimmeee a call! you said three days and its been, well, if you count monday, its been three, but if you don't count monday, it's only been two days since the audition.

oooohhhhhhhh! so you're going to call me tomorrow, right?

i'll be waiting....

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

You shouldn't have lunch with a Russian drug dealer unless you come heavy.

every night since christmas day, kpr have been sitting down and enjoying time with our new family. we've gotten to know their ins and outs, ups and downs and dirty little secrets. we're very concerned about the welfare of their children and i'm wondering what will happen when it is revealed that pussy is wearing a wire?

i'm speaking of the sopranos, of course. we started watching the dvd of season one on christmas day because it was one of the only dvds at his parent's house. we watched episode after delicious episode. you just get hooked, it's like a drug and i think tony wants it that way. "yeah bitch, keep on watching and daddy'll give you what you're thirsty for." which is brutal killings, bangin' some hos and carmella lusting after the local priest. i know i'm like 6 years late with the complement, but this show is genius- multi-layered characters, psychological disorders, sex, drugs and drea dimatteo in a thong.

i've been searching around for the complete season two, our blockbuster seems to have lost episode 5-13 and i was finally rewarded this weekend when mariana took me to tower records and i rented the entire thing for like 3 dollars! woooooohooooooo! i think we finish up this season tonight and then i'm so excited because season three is on-demand right now, so we can watch it for free!

Monday, January 03, 2005

audition today!

spending your lunch hour at a place called Blimpie is not a great way to start the new year. not that i did that- i had a salad- but as i was walking 4 crosstown blocks in three-inch heels, this is what i thought about to keep my mind off the pain. crosstown blocks are long yo.

i had an audition this afternoon, which went rather well, i think. i felt really good afterwards and the reader was fantastic and i felt like she gave me a lot to work with. so thank you very much wonderful reader and the njrep auditions! there were tons of people in the room! 2 readers, the director, the playwright and at least four other people, one was a producer and i'm not sure who the rest were. the script seems interesting and i would love to get back to regular old contemporary drama- so keep your fingers crossed that they call me back.

today is my first day of no:
ugggghhhhh it's painful, this one:

just for 30 days, to give my system a little rest and go back to my normal, pre-holiday gluttony weight. i'm also going to do yoga twice a week. which is going to be expensive, but the ass is saggin a bit, so totally worth it.

did i mention that after our new year's eve party, our house is stocked with bread, CHEESE and WINE? in fact, it is pretty much all we have in the house right now. so this will take a lot of willpower- but i've done it before and can do it again!

ohhh look time to go home! hooray! later gators