Wednesday, October 26, 2005

i would like to start over

today is the kindof day where i wish i could just go back to bed, sleep for another 8 hours or so, wake up, and start over again.

first there is this- how many more??

i woke up a little late- it is so dark here in the morning and we turn the heat down at night- so getting out of bed is really a trial. i feed champ- jump in the shower- say goodbye to kpr- get out of the shower- notice two new zits cropping up on face, grrrreat!- do the hair- apply moisturizer, etc... take champ downstairs to let him outside, only to discover that he left a nice little gift at the back door, that thank thee lord i didn't step in. clean it up, flush the toilet- go back to doing hair- agonize over what to wear today-walk around the living room barefoot, looking for shoes- wonder why the carpet is damp- look down to see suspicious little sqirt marks all over the carpet and hardwood floor- find the dog cowering in his crate- yell and scream things like 'what is the matter with you?' as if the dog could understand what i am saying, think to self about what a great parent i will be, if i can't get the dog to piss and shit outside how the hell am i ever going to manage a kid? furiously spray febreeze on the carpet because the pet stain stuff is nowhere to be found- hope that the house doesn't smell like pee and vow to clean carpet with baking soda when return home from work- finish doing hair- run out the door with no makeup on because am running 20 minutes late- wait forever for two trains- get stuck on the local because apparently the express train doesn't exist after 8:30am- rush into work late- forward calls so can run down the bathroom and slap some makeup on face- dammit why is my skin so freaking dry?!!- work till 10:30 then dash out the door- hail a cab- and am off to the big meeting that i refuse to talk about- change from broken down black boots to sexy stilleto heels in car- spend $6 on a cab going 18 blocks(highway robbery)-arrive ridiculously early- futz around the cosi sandwich place for a while- go up to big meeting- frantically checking hair and makeup in the elevator- smile on face- wait ten minutes flipping through old issue of cosmopolitan, wonder if i should try mashing up a mango and spread it all over my body whilst in the shower- big meeting's assistant comes out and tells me that big meeting is out sick today and 'i don't know why he didn't call you to cancel, but i'm very sorry, call tomorrow to reschedule'- smile through teeth- no problem- realize i will have to agonize over yet another outfit for next meeting- walk back into the cold feeling the skin on my face shrivel up into dry little shreds (how much water must i drink?!! gah!)- walk back into cosi, spend $8.50 on a salad with three vegetables and lettuce- switch from sexy stilleto heels to broken down black boots- walk the 18 blocks back to work thinking about the need to ask for more time off and more early mornings and late nights- arrive back to work- type up blog entry only to lose half of it somehow- retype blog entry- run into housekeeper who has made lunch for everyone 'i made lentils for you because you can't have pasta' and think how amazingly sweet that is and then realize that i already spent $8.50 on a freaking salad with nothing in it- and wish i could go back to bed..........

Monday, October 24, 2005

Free this week only

The Green Guide is free this week only. Check it out- it's an awesome resource for anything you ever wanted to know about being environmentaly aware.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

rainy saturday

most people hate when it rains on the weekend. i do too, most of the time. but this morning i woke up and was cheered to hear pitter pattering on the window. a rainy saturday means i have an excuse to sleep in, stay in my pajamas all day and not wash my hair. which is exactly what i did today. kpr got up and tried to convince me that we should go out for breakfast, but i wasn't going for it. he went off for coffee and i snuggled under the covers for a while longer, vaguely hearing him return, take a bath and then a shower, but mostly trying to soak up all that delicious sleep- mmmm there is nothing like sleeping in sleep- that feeling that you don't have to wake up for anything. kpr is an early riser and cannot understand my love of the sleeping in- he usually tries to talk me out of sleeping in by laying on top of me or pulling all the covers off, but i'll do anythign to take in another half hour or so under the covers in dreamland.
when i finally did wake up and went out into the living room i was pleasantly surprised by the fire going in the fireplace. we're lucky enough to have a working fireplace in our apartment and the first fire of the season is very exciting. its been so chilly recently that a duraflame makes all the difference.
i did some laundry and when i went back down to the basement to switch the loads, i discovered that they had finally replaced the old dryers we had, with two not-so-new, but-not-as-old dryers that work remarkably better. Whoever replaced the dryers also moved my load from the washer to the dryer and i got a free dry! score!
i cleaned all of champ's things and got his little sweatshirt, sweater and fleece ready for the cold weather. i also sat down and mended all those things that needed mending, something that i've been meaning to do for quite sometime. oh and two days ago i sent my grandparents some a pack of notecards in the mail with a little note, instead of sending them flowers- another thing i have been meaning to do for a while.
the rest of the day was spent searching for appliances online, which is hard- i think we really just need to go out and look at stuff and have out measurements and budget in mind and know what brands are best and go from there. kpr has his heart set on an aga or wolf stove, but i really don't think we need to spend that kind of money. i want something that is a good brand, will fit out space constraints, is energy star rated and won't break the bank. i talked to frank the cabinet man today and they are coming out to take measurements next saturday.
talked to dad on the phone today and we're all looking forward to going to vegas for thanksgiving. my folks got paul mccartney tix for the friday after thanksgiving for all of us to go together- my parents, my brother and his wife, the newlyweds, kpr and i, my sister and her bf. should be lots of fun and i'll be off my diet by then so hopefully i can eat whatever i want. it's thunder and lightning right now, we just watched the blockbuster 'air force one' and now i have 'close encounters of third kind' on in the background and i'm wondering how i'm going to convince champ to go outside in the rain (he's such a p*ssy about the rain). kpr is snoring away on the living room floor, which explains why he can get up at the butt crack of dawn with no problem- he falls asleep around 8pm each night.

Thursday, October 13, 2005


today is my blogiversary! except i don't really count it as a full year, because, hello! i haven't posted in forever and a month.
but today, i felt like posting because i was inspired by my bff's new blog which i haven't read in forever and it felt so good to sit down and read her thoughts and get back to what blogging is, instead of just trying to catch a random entry from my favorite bloggers now and then.
so, i felt like posting and as i went to the old blogger homepage, i thought "didn't i start my blog around this time last year?" and, yes, indeedy! it has been a year since the turkey. i am not one to reflect, i try my hardest to live in the moment and i have shoddy memory as it is, so i don't often have the chance to reflect, but i know that this past year has been an awesome one. i count my blessings everyday and try to be grateful for all that i have. i have love, joy, peace in my mind (for the most part) and some kickass friends. all of whom i've been neglecting lately, but luckily my girls are forgiving.

i've been in new york for 5 years now! new york is such an awesome place to live. i love it i love it and i'm so happy here. i think it is possible to live your whole life here, raise your kids here, everyday has it's moments of discovery and you are constantly being challenged to think differently and problem solve- nothing is easy- but you can get practically anything delivered to your door in about an hour. for a price. it's easy to live organically here. in so many ways. new yorkers are environmentalists, as funny as it sounds, we use less energy, less oil, we don't all have gas guzzling suvs, we exercise more, eat better (local, organic, natural, minimally processed), we recycle, reuse and reduce, we interact in our neighborhoods, we grow things, we believe in different causes, we have good bars, we support our artists, we go on and on like idiots (or maybe that's just me), new york isn't superior, its just a the best place to live, ever.

i will not talk about my job in this post.

i will not talk about an interview i have in a few weeks that i am trying not to be too excited about because, hello? how many times can i get my hopes up?!

i will say that i want to learn how to make borscht.
i want to call my mother more often
i want to send my grandparents flowers
i want to write my thank you cards this week
i want to submit more headshots
i want to be done with the kitchen design and just get it all over with already, but i know we have a long way to go
i want to stop picking up socks
i want to eat chicken soup
i want to go clothes shopping with katrina
i want to get jen that candle for her birthday that m got for me for my birthday because i know she will love it as much as i do
i want to hang things on the walls
i want to mend all the things that have holes in them
i want to have a three year contract on a soap opera
i want our home to be eclectic but put together
i want to put a towel down by the front door to put our wet shoes on
i want to bake something
i want to use nontoxic paint
i want a little sister for champ
i never want to hear the phrase 'so what are you working on now?'
i want a national commercial
i want to be able to pay my dad back
i want to pay kpr more rent
i want to work from home
i want to go back to bed
i want to be happy like this for my whole life
i want everything to be recycled, reduced and reused
i want to go get the composter
i want stock in gaiam
i want to never have to clean the floor again
or the bathroom
i want to know what that brain thing is that i stare at everyday
i want to be able to remember things that i think about so i can blog about them
i want to meet some of the bloggers i've been reading for a while
i want to not think bad things
i want to not be as responsible
i want things to just work out dammit
i want m here in nyc
i want to be less selfish
i want to have a baby, sometime. soon maybe.
i want to eat sugar, wheat, dairy, corn and PIZZA
and a chicken parm panini.