Sunday, August 28, 2005

to be honest, i haven't much felt like posting in a while. well, i haven't really had the time and my motivation has been very low when i do have the time. my job keeps me very busy and i don't dare blog from work. i have rehearsals at night and when i get home its after 11 and the last thing i want to do is get on the computer.

the job is going, well, ok. its a job. i'm an adult, and i'm doing adulty things. i like the goals and objectives of the company, so i go to a place that i feel makes a difference in the city. i can wear jeans to work, which to me, as silly as it sounds, is a +. the people i work with are perfectly nice. that's all i'm going to say.

i'm in rehearsal and i'm kindof ambivilent about the production. i could take it or leave it and sometimes its a pain in the ass to haul myself to rehearsal every night. i think the show will be ok, but nothing to shout from the rooftops about. i like the people i'm working with, but i'm kindof 'eh.' about the whole thing.

i've got to work on my motivation. the things i'm enjoying the most right now are, spending time with kpr, hanging out with champ, going to the dog run, eating yummy food, grabbing drinks with friends. i'm putting very little effort into my career right now even though being at this job has taught me that i don't want to be at jobs like this for the rest of my life. not that its horrible, because its not, its just not what i want to do.

ugh. the good news is that i have found a new accupuncturist who takes my insurance and i can get accupuncture for $30 a session, which rocks. her practice is based in an integrative medical office, so i made an appointment to see one of the doctor's there, as i'm looking for a new pcp as my previous doctor moved upstate and no one in her office takes my insurance.

gah, what a boring post. bleh.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

stream

so much has happened in the last few weeks. i've been cast in a production of 12th night, so've been going to work every day and off to rehearsal at night. i've been driving around new york city like crazy. inever thought i would drive here, and all the sudden i am. i auditioned for a rock musical a few weeks ago. i haven't done a musical audition in years, so i was rather proud of myself that i decided to just go out and do it. i had fun, i did well, i didn't get called back- i don't think i look very jewish and that's what they were looking for. but i'm in another show right now so it doesn't matter.

i've been applying for 'real' jobs recently, as the temp market has seem to have dried up here in the city. i'm pretty choosy about where i want to go. an arts organization or a non-for-profit. i interviewed for a job at a cool non-for-profit company last week and they brought me back in to speak with the head of the company who is a very important lady in the industry. they are pretty hesistant about hiring an actor because it can be very risky for them- i could get a job and have to relocate somewhere the next day. but i think they think i'm the best person for the job because they called me up on monday and offered it to me. nad i am pretty scared to take on a permanant gig. i'm afraid that i will get so wrapped up in what is going on at my day job, that my dream, the reason i moved to new york in the first place, will fall to the wayside. the position is pretty time demanding, and my days will be filled, so no more 'free' time to work on 'me' things like running to auditon sor submitting my headshots and stuff. that will all have to be taken care of on my off time. which is how it should be, i know, but not what i'm used to. but i'm eager to jump into somehting new and the company is pretty awesome and i really believe in what they are doing and they are so progressive and it's a pretty perfect position for the save-the-world part of me. but still, i'm terrified of commiting to something.. what if i don't like it? what if they don't like me? what if the work is too hard and i keep on messing up? what if they hate me and make fun of me behind my back? what if i can't get out to auditions EVER AGAIN?!! so we talked about terms and i said i needed a night to 'sleep on it.' what to do what to do.

also

i'm redesigning our kitchen to be renovated into a 'green kitchen' this is fun and agonizing because i really have no idea what i'm doing and i have to talk to an architect tonight and pretend that i do. i'm so clueless.

also

my very best girlfriend is dating a celebrity and she is in la at this moment spending the month with him. how cool is that?!

also

my other very best girlfriend is going through some amazingly difficult times right now, and i'm so admiring her strength and ability to hold on and not let this send her to a 'bad place.'

i do love me some awesome girlfriends.