Friday, March 31, 2006

to everything turn, turn, turn

happy friday!

we're off to paint kpr's parent's new beach house this weekend. my future mother-in-law and i may even go furniture shopping. i forsee a lot of wicker in my future.

humpapalooza 2006 has been mercifully put on hold for the time being. i've had no reason to tell champ to "put that thing away."

spring has finally sprung it seems (keeping my fingers crossed it stays this way). the little daffodils on the way to work are very cheerful and the flowering trees on clinton street are so pretty.

i do love the change of seasons.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006


good morning!

a few things i have been thinking about:

1. bonnie has been doing amazingly well these last few months. we have really seen her little personality blossom. she's still on steroids, but we haven't seen her symptoms return. thank goodness. her hair, where they shaved her for the spinal tap, refuses to grow back and she's a little bald back there, but still supercute. she and champ are getting along great. so great that it seems they have fallen in love and are prone to lovemaking right in front of us on the living room carpet!


sometimes they are polite and sneak off down the hall to the front door for a little privacy. can you imagine?!! this relationship developed while i was in brazil, so i place the blame for these events entirely on kpr. when i left, i had two little dogs who behaved as brother and sister (which is how we planned on raising them- but no, they prefer INCEST), when i returned, i was met at the door by two little dogs who were now two little lovers and as much as we try to keep them apart, they spend the better half of each evening licking each other's faces, sniffing respective genitalia, and longingly eyeing the hallway by the front door. it has gotten to the point where, if i am in the shower and kpr is not home, i have to shut one of them up in the bathroom with me to keep the copulation from happening. thank god they are both fixed!

2. our kitchen- remember, back before christmas, when i was excited about our new kitchen and how everything was coming together and i couldn't wait for it to be finished? well, everything is finished, the cabinetry is installed, the lighting and ceiling are fixed, the flooring was tiled lovingly by kpr himself, the brand new stainless steel appliances are up and running and the countertop is just beautiful- OH WAIT- the countertop has yet to be installed!!! we've had everything done since MID JANUARY and are still waiting for the countertop to be installed. the bastards at ford-ham marble, who were so eager to take our calls before we sent them the first check, are suddenly unavailable and apparently rendered helpless when required to return a phone call. kpr calls at least six times for every time they bother to call back and each time it is the same thing- "oh, we're waiting for the slab to be delivered" or "oh, the slab was delivered, but now we have to fabricate it." the slab was supposedly delivered at the beginning of march and here we are looking down the barrel to the beginning of APRIL!!!!! and i still have no countertops, and really no idea when i will have countertops "sometime next week" keeps on turning into the next week and the next week and HOLY FUCKING HELL I WANT TO STOP DOING MY DISHES IN THE BATHROOM SINK!!! because we can't install our beautiful under the counter sink and then hookup our beautiful dishwasher until we have the countertops installed! DAMMIT!

3. the wedding:

  • venue/catering/cake- booked
  • photographer- booked
  • dj- in contract
  • florist- ummm not responding to my email- must fax her today
  • dress- on order
  • bridesmaid dress- on order
  • hotels- blocks booked- must fax contract to howard johnson's
  • website- created, but must be updated
  • groom's attire- looked at but no decisions yet
  • officiant- pending (ahem)
  • rehearsal dinner- to do
  • honeymoon- flights and first hotel booked
  • ceremony- ideas thrown around
  • vows- ha!
  • wedding bands- ordered (and agonized over)
  • can the dogs come to the ceremony?- haven't asked yet
  • hair/nails/makeup appointments- to be booked
  • registry- registered (all over town)
  • invitations- wording finalized but have to be ordered THIS WEEK!
  • showers- two being planned (not by me, thankthelord)
  • my nerves- are better than before

Monday, March 27, 2006

memories, pound the corner of my mind or how my highschool boyfriend done me wrong

i just got a notice about my highschool ten year reunion! hahhahahahahahahahahahahahaahhaahahahahahhaahaa!


listen, i know i have done a lot with those ten years. more than most, honestly (ok, i don't know about this, but i have packed it in in the last ten years). i have nothing to be ashamed of and plenty to be proud of. i'm the same size that i have been since the sixth grade (except cup size- thank you birth control! and come on, we all know that the number one reason people go to reunions is to see how much weight she has gained, how much hair he has lost, and how many divorces they have under their belt. oh and to see if their spouse is hot or not), i have better hair and eyebrows since i was a senior. i live in an awesome apartment that we own, in the greatest city in the world, have an amazing fiance, two cute and adorable dogs, have traveled the world- blah di blah di blah.

but seriously, thinking about gathering around some hotel 'ballroom' catching up with old chums, just makes me laugh (especially when i say the word chum in my head), and then want to vomit a little.

when i graduated from high school, i vowed i would never go to one of those things, those pathetic reunions. i had had a great time in high school, but was fine with leaving it where it was supposed to be, in the past. i had friends, my own little group and we weren't connected really to any of the other groups in school. we were in theatre, and choir and some of us were in the marching band (hello? geek out much? but hey it was good times). we didn't drink at parties but had amazing amounts of fun (to this day, i can't figure out how that happened, because as an adult? i can't really have fun unless i'm totally toasted.*) i was busy from sun up to past my bedtime- i had a curfew, which meant everyone hung out at my house and made a lot of noise past 11:00pm- but hey, at least my parents knew where i was. i had a boyfriend, a best friend and a close knit group of four or five others and we were inseperable.

the problem is, i don't talk to any of those people any more.

two weeks into college, i was so miserable and lonely, i called my highschool boyfriend ( i had pulled the extension cord of the phone out into the hallway of my dorm so i could sit there and have a "private" conversation out of the earshot of my three other roommates (three other roomates in one room, no a suite, one friggin room that had barely enough room for dressers, let alone desks). i tearfully told, let us call him by his real name, eric, that i thought it was a mistake that we had broken up just because i had gone away to college (he was a senior and still in high school at that point), i was only two hours away and we could make this long distance thing work.

so we did, make this long distance thing work. we talked on the phone everyday. i had discovered the joy of email (hello mid to late 90's), we saw each other at least one weekend a month. when i would go home and hang out with the old gang (i was the only one who had gone away to school) it was just like old times and i felt really happy. at one point i remember joking with my best friend mindy that wouldn't it be great if i transfered to a school around here and we were roomates? she was like, yeah! that would be awesome! but there was something in her eyes, that at the time, i took no notice of, but looking back now, i know it was there.

a few months after this conversation, i was returning home from rehearsal of "West Side Story" (i played one of the shark's girlfriends and i'm so irish and pale they made me wear body bronzer so i could look a little "latina") and i'm pulling into the parking lot, and there is eric, sitting on his car which is parked next to my spot. i'm shocked to see him there on a weeknight and i immediately know that something is terribly wrong. i thought he was about to tell me that one of my friends had died, or was in a horrible accident or something terrible. when i asked him what was wrong, he told me to get in his car and he would tell me. then he said he wanted to take a drive and then he would tell me. i was frantic and after a driving a few miles and he not answering my questions, i demanded he pull over this instant and tell me what was wrong. he pulled into the parking lot of hollywood video and we got out of the car, he sat down on the gravel and i sat down across from him, terrified of what he was about to tell me.
"i cheated on you with mindy."
what? hello? mindy, my best friend who i'm going to move in with mindy?
he starts to cry and it gets very dramatic, i'm angry and hurt and all of that and like, "drive me back to campus i never want to see you again." he swears it only happened once** and he had to tell me if she and i were going to move in with each other. i tell him to go to hell. i get back to my dorm room and by then it is so late, too late for him to drive home without falling asleep at the wheel and so he sleeps on the bunk below me, the whole night i'm crying silently into my pillow and cursing the person below me.
he leaves the next morning and i don't talk to him for months and months and months. i don't talk to mindy for months and months and months either. the thing is, i didn't really miss him at all. sure, i was hurt, it stung and i felt betrayed, i cried and lamented and was depressed about it, but the greatest hurt was missing my best friend. how could she be so cold, careless, so brazen? how could she not care about my feelings at all? i felt closer to her than my own sister, had confided so much to her, about my relationship with eric of all things, and none of that mattered.

it was like all the fun i had in high school was wiped away.***

before the beginning of my sophmore year, i drove over to her house, sat in my car parked outside for a while, took a deep breathe, walked up to her door and knocked, asked her if she wanted to go for a walk. i said i missed her as a friend, i didn't really understand why all of what happened, happened. but that i wanted to put it behind us and move on with our friendship. i told her that she meant a lot to me. we rekindled our friendship and i thought we were closer than ever. she used to write me these really amazing letters, which were like a gift in the mail. we talked on the phone often and visited when i would drive home. things were actually better between us, without stupid boys to get in the way.

i had landed the lead roll in "our town", and she was coming up to see my opening night. the day of our last dress rehearsal, i get an email that says, "i'm not asking for your permission, but i just wanted to let you know before anyone else told you, that eric and i have started dating...."


i wrote her back that i never wanted to speak to her again, and to this day, i haven't.

i'm an adult now, or at least i play one in real life. i know that if i end up going to this whole reunion thing, that i will ultimately have a good time and maybe reconnect with old friends. i think that even if i ran into mindy, i would be cool about it (like i wouldn't want to slap her in the face or anything), because i have grown up, i am a grown up- right?

but i am going to be true to my seventeen year old self, and i know that this is a party in a 'ballroom' of some hotel that i will not be making. i can leave the past in the past, and now when i think of it, the edges have dulled and i can smile a bit wider about it all.

*this is not true. well, maybe a little true, but not that much.

**actually, i found out a few months later that their relationship had lasted about six months to that point. so basically, the moment i left for college, they were all about each other and he wasn't man enough to tell me about it when i called him and said we should get back together.

***pardon the mellodrama

Thursday, March 16, 2006

flyer in the bathroom stall

please check out the delightful miss mo's new website and be sure to listen to the audio portion. she is a constant commenter here at divinemissk and a friend who holds and place near and dear to my heart.

oh, she's also supremely talented!

Friday, March 10, 2006


i'm very proud to say that one of my very best friends, m, wrote the natalie portman rap from snl this past week. you can view it here. she showed me the video last night and I almost peed my pants , it was soooooo funny (i've given up trying to stay awake late enought to watch it live, and m has come to understand that i am simply too old to try and stay up to watch for her sketches). and i'm not just saying that because she is my friend, i'm saying it because it is fucking hilarious. natalie portman did an awesome job as host and is fantastic in this sketch. watch the vidoe, but you may want to use the restroom before you do!

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

i've returned from brazil, more on that later, but for now...

an excerpt from an email to the governor of jennsylvania (buy Jen's book!)

Seriously, working at the Time Warner Center is going to be my downfall- not only is there a Borders Books and Music, but a Whole Foods in the basement (my all time fav store), a Sephora, an Aveda, a Williams Sonoma, and several other exciting stores I have yet to discover. My temp agency should just direct deposit my check into the Time Warner Center so I can just operate on mall credits. Oh and the subway line is directly underneath- so no nasty exercise for me!

Anyway- Ken is LA this week, so I am looking forward to reading your book tonight after I watch Lost, oh and on the train after work. If I'm really sneaky, I may start reading it right now at work (you know how stimulating temp work can be...).

Borders also sucked me into buying a book by about wedding vows and ceremony traditions and I almost started crying right there in the store as I was reading it. I shouldn't have bought the book, as I know it is something I can just get at the library, but somehow I can't walk out of bookstore with just one book. I'm debating whether I should tell Ken that I bought the book or just wow him with my amazing ability to express my emotions and my divine eloquence.... We have 134 days till we get married and ask me if we have booked a florist or dj yet? Nope! We like to fly by the seat of our pants and keep our fingers crossed. The honeymoon, you ask? No, I have no idea where we are going and tickets have yet to be purchased! Invitations? I'm sure they will look lovely, once we've decided on the wording, paper, font and colors. I have, however, purchased my dress, my sister's dress and am on the lookout for a pretty tutu for bonnie to wear.