me and edie

so, i have a stalker. not a cyber stalker, but a real-life stalker. i run into her all the time and when i try to catch her eye, she always looks away, trying to blend in and not be noticed. i'm not afraid of her, but frankly, it's getting a little annoying to have her there every time i turn around. i even know her name, so it's not like she's one of those anonymous stalkers, i know who she is and what she does for a living. her name is edie f@lco and she works on this little show on hbo called the sopr@nos. she's been in my living room every day for the last two and a half weeks and yesterday she followed me to the theatre.

ok, ok, edie f@lco is not stalking me, but, i do see her everywhere. ok, ok, not everywhere, but twice in the last two years and kpr saw her once last year. so that makes three encounters with edie f@lco for my household, and that, my friends, is way above average.

the first time i saw her, was at an off broadway theatre that i had been working for off and on. the show was starring cynthia nixon and evan handler of sex and the city, so a lot of celebs trudged all the way to 52nd st between 10th and 11th avenues (way, way, way out there, remember what i said about cross-town blocks?) to see the show (who am i kidding? they all took cabs). i worked concessions one night and after the show, a woman wearing a black baseball cap and no makeup came up to me and asked where she should wait to see the actors and i was all like, are they expecting you? and she was like, yes. and then i realized, ohmygod! this is edie f@lco. cool (at that point i had never watched the sopr@nos, so i was just a little in awe). i was determined not to let it show that i knew who she was, but then i was like, well, ummm, yeah, you can just go right backstage through that door, ummmm ok? and when she left, i was a little giddy, but still under control.

kpr saw her a while back when they were both getting an mri. he was the patient after her and all the mri techs could talk about was her (and they discussed what was going on with her health-wise, which i would think is a big no no).

last night i ushered a production at new york theatre workshop, theeee off broadway theatre. rent was work shopped here and although they have a long history of excellent work, rent is what put them on the map. i'm ashamed to say that i had never seen a show there, even though it's within walking distance of my house. a friend had volunteered to usher and then had to drop out, so i replaced her. the theatre space itself is really inspiring. the audience setup was new, a very tall, steep set of risers curved around a small, intimate stage, with beautiful hardwood floors and the bare brick back wall serving as the back wall of the set. a gorgeous, bachelor style, brown leather couch and a simple floor lamp were the only set pieces. the show was called a number by carol churchill (a famous playwright) and starred sam shepard and d@llas roberts (i'll get to him later) and had recently been extended due to sold out houses.

so, as an usher, my job was to tear the tickets at the entrance of the house and guide people as to where they were going, all while telling them to use the coat check and turn off all cell phones and beepers, etc... so i was busily tearing and telling away, when in walks this bubbly brunette with a not so bubbly short-haired blond, no makeup. i tore their tickets and was about to tell them where to go when i realized the blond was indeed, edie f@lco! my mind began to race! i had been watching every episode of the sopr@nos for the last two and a half weeks now, and i was just blown away by her work on the show. now, usually when i see a celebrity in ny, i play it cool, am impressed, but i certainly don't say anything to them, let alone ask for an autograph or anything. just last week mariana and i saw kyra sedgwick in urban outfitters and while everyone around us was abuzz, she and i played it cool. but this time, i felt different. i felt like i had to let her know that i had been watching her show every day for the last two weeks and that i loved her character and thought she was doing an amazing job and i that i was just inspired by her talent and the work that she was doing. all of this was running through my head in the two seconds i had before they walked away, but before i could say anything, they stopped and the bubbly brunette grabbed the arm of a tall young man about to enter the theatre and said, "john this is my friend edie f@lco" and i looked up and realized that "john" was an actor that had worked at a theatre i had interned at almost five years ago and i had had a huge huge crush on him at the time. my mind froze, and my mouth felt like it had been stuffed full of cotton balls. edie and the exuberant brunette walked away after i had vaguely pointed them in the right direction (wildly gesturing towards the front of the theatre) and there i was standing face to face with a guy that i had swooned over five years ago (but honestly hadn't thought of since).

my mouth, still stuffed with cotton, refused to make any sounds and i finally stuttered out something like "u-u-uuup thethe the sssstairss" and prayed they (he was with a blond girl, woman, lady or whatever) would just walk on by. but of course, because i was sounding like an idiot, (i never stutter, and when i do i get flustered and sound even worse) he paused and looked at me and i saw a flash of recognition and then confusion and i knew he thought i looked familiar, but i just smiled weakly and offered no simultaneous recognition. the young blond pulled him away and i breathed a sigh of relief, until i realized that my friend sara, had dated his roommate after that summer internship. John, mr. roberts (the star of the show) and sara's boyfriend all went to this very famous performing arts school that starts with a j (and it's not jyale) and have all had great success in their careers. sara had told me later that she had told john that i had had a huge, huge crush on him (after the internship was over and she thought i would never see him again, little did she realize how small the theatre world is) and although, if i remember correctly, she said he had responded not with complete horror and revulsion, but i think slight amusement or something, i don't know, it was five years ago after all. but anyway, after he walked away, i panicked because if he remembered who i was, he was bound to remember what sara had told him! and because i had acted like an idiot and couldn't speak or anything, i hoped that if he did remember, he wouldn't think that i was so flustered because i was still swooning over him, which i wasn't, it was just the edie factor that had me all mixed up. if i had seen just him, i would have been my normal, charming self and laughed with him over everything that went on that summer. hahaha!

ok, enough of this junior high, do you think he likes me, talk.
the show was good and ran about 60 minutes. the house was sold out, so all of the lovely volunteer ushers had to stand in the back of the audience, which sucked, but gave me ample opportunity to glance over at edie (who had the best seat in the house) and former crush boy.

after the show, i worked the coat check and was madly handing coats back to people, so i didn't get to see crush boy leave. when we were finished, and the audience had cleared out, a bunch of us were standing around and talking about who was there and everything and of course everyone was talking about edie. she had just starred in a production of 'nigh mother by marsha norman (another famous playwright) on broadway and it turns out that the woman who was with her, the bubbly brunette, was indeed marsha norman herself. exciting! we were all giggling and a little giddy about this and who should walk from behind the risers but, edie and marsha! they had obviously overheard us, but were very gracious and friendly and all nice to meet you and everything. we cleaned up the space and walked out of the theatre. it was raining, but i decided to walk home anyway and call mariana and tell her all about what had happened (she had interned with me that same summer). when i got home, what did we do but pop in another episode of the sopr@nos and sit back and watch edie and all the gang do their thing.