don't get fat or your kid will be fat and resent you for it for the rest of their life

so this is the dumbest study ever. as if a pregnant woman wasn't confused enough about what is healthy and what isn't healthy.

let me summarize for you:

hmmmmm, if you gain the recommended weight during pregnancy, you probably will have an overweight toddler. if you gain more than the recommended weight you will most likely have an overweight toddler. BUT don't not gain the recommended weight because being underweight is bad for the baby. either way, the choices you make now will affect your baby's future no matter what so you might as well worry about it and feel guilty about it for the rest of your life. why don't you go sit in a corner and cry about it? but don't comfort yourself with food, because that is a bad habit you will pass along to your baby and they will resent you for it for the rest of their life. BUT don't not eat because your baby is hungry and needs nourishment- here, here is a nice head of lettuce, knaw on that for a while, okay? but eat some of this genetically modified tomato while you're at it because the baby needs folate, and if the baby is born with any kindof defect or disorder, it's because you didn't consume enough folate and they will resent you for it for the rest of their life.
so pretty much, this study was an important study to perform but we have no conclusive results other than you should worry and feel guilty and that we need to study this some more in order to give you more information that you should worry and feel guilty about.
the end.


i have developed a new vice, one that i have been fighting for years, but have recently succumbed to.

decaf iced coffee with milk and two sugars.

oh god how i crave it on my way to work in the morning! during the first four months of pregnancy when i was barfing all the time, the smell of coffee would sooth my reeling head and stomach. but i didn't dare drink any coffee because the child! think about the child! and the growth defects and the chance of developing two heads!

i have never been a coffee drinker, because frankly, caffeine can kill me. well maybe not kill me, but make me feel like i want to jump off a bridge just to get rid of the shakes, racing mind and heart palpitations. i worked at several different coffee shops through high school and college and i loved the smell of coffee, but never drank it.

when i moved to new york, i discovered the joy that is iced coffee. i would have a decaf iced about once a week as a treat, always making it nice and creamy and sweet. my favorite part is crunching on the sugar at the bottom of the cup. i would only allow myself to partake during the summer, when it was really hot outside, thinking i deserved this coffee, for surviving the summer in manhattan.

for the record, yes, i do know that decaf coffee does have caffeine in it. and yes it does affect me slightly.

now that i'm pregnant, i'm craving sweet things all the time. last weekend we went to my nephew's seventh birthday party and my sister in law sent us home with about a third of the birthday cake (homemade by her sister who is a professional baker, so it was some pretty damn good cake). the cake lasted about 1.5 days in our fridge before i demolished it on monday night and had the sugar shakes for most of the evening. ooooohhhhh but it was good! and sweet! and awesomely delicious! and studies have shown that babies react positively to sweet amniotic fluid, so really, i was thinking of the child! i want my baby to like me and if that means i'm going to have to consume a lot of sugary nonsense, well then, i accept that challenge.

i had two iced coffees last week and this morning i broke down while walking by amy's bread in the village. i've been working in the west village for the last week and have been going to amy's almost everyday for lunch because they have awesome (healthy) sandwiches. they also have amazing cheese biscuits (more carbs that turn into sugar!) that somehow end up in my purse, i'm not sure how that happens. but cheese! has calcium and protein- so i'm doing it for the child!

i'm planning out my next iced coffee and i think i can make it till thursday. wednesday is our next ultrasound, so i want to remain 'clean' for the next few days, just in case the technician can see the ice coffee on the sonogram and feels like she needs to tsk tsk me for it. so, thursday it is- my reward for staying clean for two days. friday is a reward in itself, so i won't have one friday- unless it's really hot out.