if you are like me, you probably don't want to admit any of this to yourself. but, yes, there are certain ideas that i have about myself, that may keep me from fulfilling my true potential. i don't really want to think about any of these things, but yesterday, i did.
a friend of mine recommended a friend of her's as an intuitive healer. i'm into alternative medicine, acupuncture, yoga, meditation, spirituality, y'know all that kindof stuff. so this really wasn't a stretch for me. i was open to it.
i wasn't sure what to expect. i have some super annoying chronic illnesses, that tend to get in my way more often than i would like, so i went in search of aid for these complaints (and in search of a killer complexion). we started out with a nutritional consultation, where she recommended different supplements and foods that should help alleviate my symptoms (digestive, lung and skin issues). most of which i was familiar with, but not quite sure how to use.
we also talked about doing a spring cleanse, which i'm really keen to do as this is the best time to clean out your insides and start fresh. she recommended taking one day in the
- first week and using the master cleanse, and eating lightly the day after.
- the next week, i should do the master cleanse for three days, being careful to break the fast on the fourth day.
- the third week, i should do a liver cleanse for two weeks.
- the fifth week, i should repeat the master cleanse for three days
- the week after that i should do a kidney/bladder cleanse.
i plan on getting started next week, after easter, but carefully planning around my shower weekend and also memorial day weekend! we have a little over three months till wedding day and i want to be in top shape (internally and externally, that is).
the second part of my session was a spiritual cleansing. i laid down on a soft massage table in the darkened treatment room. it was very comfortable and the essential oils on the table made it smell nice and i was super relaxed. there was new-agey music playing. i did a lot of deep cleansing breathes and then jennifer performed her magic on me. she reached into my energy field and literally started mixing things up and sweeping things away. my whole body began to vibrate and even though my eyes were closed, i was very aware of everything she was doing. she was bunching together negative thoughts and emotions, which were centered around my gut and just under my heart. she would gather everything together and then pick it up and throw it away. i could feel certain things clearing in my body and i was beginning to let go. she worked like this for over an hour and it was exhausting! she would do little kinestetic tests where she would press against my upraised arm and make a statement, and if that statement was true, i would resist her arm, if it was false, i had no strength against her. there is a connection electrically when things are true in your body.
one of my biggest issues was self trust, also self hatred (which manifests itself in my second guessing every decision i make), i do have safe control over my emotions, but definite anger issues (external things having the power to define my strength in anger, instead of me using and defining that strength). it all makes sense to me as these are things i have been feeling (at least in the back of my head) my whole life. sometimes you just have to deal with that little voice that invades your thoughts.
i am by no means 'cured.' but self awareness is the first step to improvement. i feel really balanced today and more relaxed than i have in a while. if anything, i had a chance to meditate on what's going on inside of me, instead of focusing so much on the external.
i'm looking forward to the cleanses and doing more energy work. i'm not sure what i would like the final outcome to be. or even if i think there is a final outcome, after all i'm a firm believer in the idea of 'works in progress.'